Another ho-hum week

So I have just spent another week of loafing around and contributing absolutely nothing to the world. Am becoming intellectually lazy and increasingly affronted and annoyed by people who contradict me in spite of knowing absolutely nothing about what I am talking about. It's like when a woman who doesn't watch the news or read a paper and gets all her information second hand suddenly rears her head and grunts through clenched teeth, "but don't you think this is what YOU think and not what is true for someone else..". NEWS FLASH - make an argument relevant to the topic being discussed, don't state the obvious!! Makes you look really stupid since it becomes obvious you don't have anything constructive to contribute! ARRGH I wish freedom of speech didn't come with strings attached. Like social boycott for instance, or the 'feel bad' syndrome. The FBS occurs when people expect you to do something that you didn't know you had to do - like calling every time you poop, informing everyone when you buy a new pair of shoes or telling someone that you're going out for coffee or to the gym by yourself. I'm really bad at dealing with people who suffer from FBS. I go out of my way to apologize and be nice to them for something that technically isn't even a fault. And I get some upturned noses for a while and brusque hi's, but that's really amusing. 

The top 11 things I would tell certain people if I could

1. Please buy deodorant

2.  Don't you think you should wax more often? I say this with some flourish to a man. 

3. Read a book!!

4. Stop being such a lazy ass.

5. I know you cheated on your wife and now she won't say anything 'cos she went around telling everyone how great you are and she thinks she looks really stupid. What she needs to do is kick you out of the home. Oh wait, she thinks you're making all the money for her in the future.. Oh well I guess she deserves what she gets. But even though she is downright stupid, that doesn't change the fact that you're an ass. 

6. Stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time. It's very draining on everyone around you.

7. Get over your nationalistic attitude. You sound like a rabid nut job.

8. Get a life!

9. You REALLY need to get laid

10. You CAN say something nice about another person once in a while. When you don't, you just appear jealous or like you have an ulcer up your butt. 

11. Related to 10 above. Stop bitching about your best friend.. not fair when the poor girl can't even speak the same language as you. 

Oh and if I know you and you're reading this, don't try and guess if I am writing about you. You're giving yourself far too much importance. Save me the embarrassment of saying this straight to your face. 

Gosh! It IS liberating to be writing freely after all this while. Since I was feeling really guilty tonight about neglecting my grey cells and ignoring my cerebral fluids I decided to liven things up in my head a bit by FINALLY reading Madness and Civilization from scratch. I also have to confess that there is something liberating about Foucault talking about the orchestrated exclusion of people in the 'interior of the exterior'. This stuff makes perfect sense to me. Although apparently it is fashionable to pretend that Foucault DOESN'T make sense to you.  

It's becoming harder to voice opinions because most people have a pre-conceived notion of how much your opinion matters if you wear really high heels, giggle often and/or are chatty. I have been nicknamed Barbie so many times, it's becoming pretty tedious. Someone once called me a trophy wife also and as I put the phone down chuckling to myself while guzzling the second cuppa in two hours, I kinda said out loud, "a trophy wife who earns her own living?" That's gotta be new! 

I wish people could come up with a new moniker for me. Something like BITCH PH.D, or PINKO FEMINIST HELLCAT in HIGH HEELS!! (For those of you really smart 'uns reading this, you've probably caught on to those names by now.. and if not, you're probably scrambling to Google these names and figure out what contemporary reference you missed, so as not to look to stupid in front of your own laptop.)

So what is this blog about? Well, I'm still deciding. I really liked the title when I saw a cauldron with the words written across it in an issue of B.I.T.C.H magazine. Googled it and found out that Bitchcraft is apparently a porn flick as well... and for some perverse reason, I was completely sold on the name. I want to make this an informal, easy to read blog about troubling issues, but also use some space for personal venting. I also thought I would invite three co-authors for this blog, but have changed my mind since. Please don't subject me to the FBS for this. Comments and suggestions are welcome.