Neighbour's Envy, Owner's Pride - II

Product envy occurs when people disparage another person's possession of some THING, for no apparent reason. Men and women succumb to product envy for different kinds of products. Men's product envy is more gadget based (at least judging from the overwhelmingly techie sample I am exposed to). Women's product envy encompasses everything - house, car, shoes, bags, clothes, etc. I must qualify here that not everyone has product envy. I think product envy is most pronounced in insecure people. I have seen people insecure about career, weight, looks, height, color of skin surround themselves with several products. Apparently it keeps them secure.

Perhaps I too shop because of some insecurity. But for the most part (and this is a confession) I am insecure only about my weight. That's where I slip most easily and shamelessly give in to the Beauty Myth. But I usually catch myself in time to do something constructive about it. The heaviest I have ever been is 130 pounds, or 61 kilograms. At about 61 kgs I can no longer peer down at my face without seeing the puffy outline of my cheeks and I realize I ought to let go of those mochas and brownies for a while. Sigh!!

Mostly, I am neutral to someone else's possessions, and enthusiastic if anyone acquires anything. It doesn't affect me. I am happy if someone else is. But I do wish this were universally true. It isn't.

But consumption of products doesn't just generate 'product envy'. Sometimes what you consume becomes who you are. It seems these days you get singled out for what you consume. If you want to to fit into geekdom, you need to dress informally, have tons of gadgets, an X-box and an unlocked iphone. If you want to fit into housewife-dom you need to ENJOY Gray's Anatomy. If you want to fit into MBA-dom you need to have a sexy phone, crisp pants and a subscription to the Economist. To fit into Ritual Roasters in SF you better have tons of Apple products. So every culture and counter-culture has a certain consumption pattern linked to it, which gives it legitimacy in a very weird way. If you consume something in common with someone else you are considered part of a clique. No one expresses it better than the makers of Coach Handbags, who have something called a 'Coach Clique' online. I have two Coach handbags and found this out when trying to figure out what the return policy was. I have refrained from joining the Clique online, but realize that by virtue of carrying such a handbag I demonstrate myself as a part of some larger collective of women who possess such a handbag.

What is really mind-boggling about this phenomenon is how 'possession' has become a marker for inclusion. No one talks about the group of deprived people. To be in possession of something ( a home, a car, a diamond ring) is to be empowered, organized, successful. Alternatively, to NOT own something is to be disorganized, nomadic, poor... and..(this is going to be controversial but I'm going to say it anyway) have a right to whining about how you don't have something. Of course there are extremes of deprivation. The really really very poor people (RRVPP) who have NOTHING. Then those whining, suburbans who crib about not having money to eat at fancy restaurants every week.

On a national scale what you consume becomes a marker for whether you can be included in a national community or not. Does anyone remember the case of the Islamic girl in NYC called Tashnuba who was called in for questioning in 2005 because she listened to Mullah Omar on the radio and not to Bon Jovi, as a girl her age was 'supposed' to do? The fact that she did not consume a typical product from the music industry meant she was weird, plotting against the country. Her donning of the burqa meant a rejection of current Abercrombie&Fitch sort of consumption pattern.

I have digressed substantially from the original intention of writing about product envy. I keep thinking back to Onida's catchphrase - and wonder if a lot of domestic squabbles are about not possessing enough to arrive at some nondescript social status. Such anxieties do drive many people crazy. Many times product envy degenerates into intense personal dislike for the person who possesses these things. She/He becomes an object of criticism. A woman, for instance, who has a large diamond ring is accused of showing off or orchestrating/manipulating the man who gave it to her. Wearers of teeny-weeny clothes and high heels, if women, are Barbies. Shoppers like me are PROBABLY (or so the assumption goes) really dumb and stupid (to fit in with the stereotype) or should dress shabbily and be LEFTY.

In popular culture people who 'possess' more than others are now getting celebrity status. The focus on their shoes, clothes, bags and alcohol-induced antics has given birth to an entire industry of celebrity watchers- tmz.com, E!, etc etc.

Ending is better than Mending! Brave New World's little slogan can't be more true than it is today. Rene Descartes will probably turn several times in his little grave when I say this - I HAVE, therefore I am!